Public Service Announcement
Excerpted from
I THINK, THEREFORE I HAVE A HEADACHE
Martha Bolton
A thinker shall have the right to drive his or her car in the fast lane of the freeway with the left turn signal blinking.
A thinker shall have the right to stare at the vegetables in the grocery store for prolonged periods of time without disturbance.
Talking to them, however, could be disconcerting to the other shoppers and therefore should only be done when absolutely necessary.
A thinker shall have the right to voice his or her opinion at the television set and at whatever volume deemed necessary.
(The tossing of objects at the television, however, could be hazardous and should be reserved for political speeches, editorialized news reporting, and nights when the "Everybody Loves Raymond" reruns get preempted.
A thinker shall have the right to sleep in late. Scientists have proven (or are surely on the verge of proving) that some of the deepest thinking occurs during the hours of 11 am and noon.
A thinker shall have the right to close his or her eyes during two-hour-long sermons. He or she is obviously lost in thought over deep spiritual matters and should not be disturbed (unless their
snoring gets disruptive).
A thinker shall have the right to ponder the greenness of the “Go” light for a minimum of five seconds before venturing out into the intersection.
A thinker shall have a right to stare at his or her own belly button for as long as it takes to come up with the answers to life’s most difficult questions.
A thinker shall have the right to a steady supply of brain food (or Krispy Kreme donuts).
A thinker shall have the right to engage in daily debates with non-thinkers, but may opt out if the debate ever gets too boring or the box of Krispy Kreme donuts is threatened in any way.
A thinker shall have the right to stand and defend his right to think. Or to go home and sleep on it, whichever seems more inviting at the time.
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