Martha's Laugh Lines: It's Beginning to Sound a Lot Like Christmas
Written by: Martha Bolton
This morning I heard a news report about what some were calling "annoying Christmas carols."
Personally, I don't find Christmas carols annoying at all. I enjoy them. In fact, I believe we've lost something by the lack of carolers strolling our streets during the holiday season. It used to be you could count on at least one group showing up on your front porch step. But it's been years since I've seen any carolers on any street for that matter.
I will concede that some of the Christmas carols could use an update, especially in light of the current economy. Here are some
suggestions:
(Rewrite of "O Christmas Tree")
(Rewrite of "Jingle Bells," beginning with the verse "Dashing through the snow")
Flying to D.C.
in a private, corporate jet,
asking for a loan
to help us pay our debt.
If you'll bail us out,
we'll cut expenses now.
Those nice folks from AIG
are going to show us how!
The Big Three
The Big Three
Chrysler, Ford, GM.
We're the next in line for help,
'cause our future's looking grim!
We admit,
flying here
was a stupid stunt.
But this time we drove our jets.
They're double-parked out front!
(Rewrite of "I'll Be Home For Christmas")
"We'll be broke for Christmas,
most of us agree.
Our stocks have tanked,
Our hopes have sank
for presents 'neath the tree.
Christmas Eve will find us
in one collective pout.
We'll be broke for Christmas,
'cause no one bailed us out!
See, traditional Christmas carols can still be fun to sing. So grab your winter coat, your ear muffs and
scarf, and start strolling down the streets. I'll put some hot chocolate on for you.
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